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pepper60 03-05-2006 12:18 PM

Awful things people do at funerals
My sister passed away in October 2005. I am still fuming about something that happened during the visitation.

My sister's husband and his brother (let's call him Mr. Evil) were in business together. Mr. Evil told horrible lies about my sister and her husband to anyone that he knew knew them and he also stole from the business. My sister's in-laws were wonderful people and loved her very much. The in-laws were both retired and received SS of less then $1,000 a month so my sister's husband paid their bills, took care of repairs around the house, and so on. Mr. Evil and his family did ZERO for the parents except maybe visit for 30 minutes once a month or so. When my sister's mother-in-law passed away from diabetes and cancer she left a tiny bit of money that she told her son to buy my sister something to remember her by. Mr. & Mrs. Evil told people my sister stole the item from her mother-in-law. When my sister's father-in-law passed away a few years later he left the house/property and a small bit of money to my brother-in-law, who split the money with Mr. Evil even though he didn't have to. Mr. & Mrs. Evil having been telling everyone that my sister coerced the in-laws into giving everything to her husband. Mr. Evil has been trying to get my brother-in-law to sell the house/property ever since and wants half of the money from the sale. For both in-laws my sister was primary care giver while her husband worked. all the while taking care of their own home, raising a daughter, running a home business, and doing volunteer work too.

For the visitation for my sister's funeral my brother-in-law was very specific as to who was to be in the receiving line: himself, their daughter, our 87 year old mother, my two older brothers, and me (I was care giver for my sister). When Mr. & Mrs. Evil arrived at the funeral home they started their own receiving line in front of ours. My sister and her husband were well known in the community and about 450 people came for the visitation. The line of people kept backing up because of the receiving line Mr. & Mrs. Evil started.
Now I suppose I should just let it go but I can't help feeling that it was a
very despictable thing for Mr. & Mrs. Evil to do.

Have any other members seen people do awful things at funerals?

Karen 03-05-2006 12:28 PM

That's a sad story. You'd think that in circumstances like this, people would try to be on better behavior. I'm sorry about the loss of your sister. It's too bad that these people made her funeral even more difficult for you and your family. :(

Christine 03-05-2006 01:47 PM

Boy. How Rude And What A Sad Story. I Would Have Moved He Real Receiving Line Ahead Of Mr And Mrs Evils.:(

Krissy 03-05-2006 02:53 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. It's too bad they needed that much attention. Hopefully you aren't dealing with them anymore

emtluvs2cook 03-05-2006 02:59 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss and the extra pain that went with it...that is totally uncalled for. I have seen behavior like that, and it just makes everything harder. I've seen people act like a pack of vultures for insignificant material posessions after some one passes. I don't get can have all of a person's posessions and none of it will bring that person back, and you can remember someone without looking at their posessions. But, I do believe that people who act that way know it is wrong and I also believe that it will bother them, even if they never let it show. I tell everyone to visit me now and spend time with me now because I don't want my husband spending lots of money on a funeral, or putting my kids thru it. He can use the money for their college or whatever.... Some people might not agree with that, but i'd much rather any money go to my kids. And a good way to prevent disputes is to spell all your wishes out on paper and have a lawyer make everything legal...that way things happen how you wish and it can cut down a lot on the "vulture syndrome" that people often get. Again, I'm really sorry about what you went through.....time will make it better somewhat. Everyone can pray for you....

pamsm 03-05-2006 06:57 PM

What a sad story. I know you must miss your sister. I really do think people can see the truth and aren't taken in by insincere people who just want attention. Hopefully all those visiting the funeral home saw who was really greiving and I am sure it wasn't the evil in-laws!! Try to focus on the postive and don't let this ruin your memories of your sister and the mother and father in law who loved her. I feel sorry for your brother in law who is left to deal with his brother. Hopefully you are still there for him- you sound like a lovely person.

Lori Ann 03-05-2006 07:36 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss....I have had similar experiences with my family and can only say let it go, the bad karma of their behavior will catch up with them...just how it is.

Hang in there!

Lori Ann

NordyGirl 03-06-2006 06:03 AM

I too am sorry for your loss. Sometimes I really wonder what people are thinking. Maybe that is the problem, they aren't. :(

pepper60 03-06-2006 10:01 AM

Thank you alll so much
Thank you all so much for your words of sympathy and encouragement.
This is truly a wonderful group. I am so happy I joined. My brother-in-law is having a difficult time of it, as is our whole family. My sister was the youngest of 4 kids. I will always be there to help and support her husband and daughter (a freshman in high school).
God Bless and thanks again.

NordyGirl 03-06-2006 10:34 AM

This must be such a horrible time for you. Your BIL and those kids are awfully
lucky to have you!

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