How To Tell If You're A Grinch
Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
Your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log.
You use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets.
Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.
You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name.
You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply.
After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made.
You steal gifts from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins.
You put out last year's stale candy canes for children.
Sometimes i pretend to be normal but it gets boring so i go back to being me