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Old 07-16-2008, 05:42 PM
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Tammy Tammy is offline
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Default Best Divorce Letter.

Best Divorce Letter Ever!

Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal
& even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia
together! Have a great life!

------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you
& I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what
you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you
got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just
like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you
can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk
boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50
from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always
wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free! AS a bird

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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  #2  
Old 07-18-2008, 02:35 PM
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Kelly Kelly is offline
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this has to be one of my favorite jokes. it gets better every time i see it!
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  #3  
Old 07-31-2008, 01:48 PM
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pepper60 pepper60 is offline
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