Online Clearance Shopping, Free Shipping, Online Sales and Coupons at MyBargainBuddy.com

Go Back   MyBargainBuddy Forums > Jokes
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-18-2008, 02:04 PM
Kelly's Avatar
Kelly Kelly is offline
MVP
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 66,314
Kelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIPKelly is a MBB VIP
Default Health Question & Answer Session


>
> Q:I've heard that cardiovascular exercise an prolong life; is this true?
> A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's
> it... Don't waste them on exercise Everything wears out
> eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live
> longer; that's like saying you can xtend the life of
> your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
> vegetables?
>
> A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow
> eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a
> steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of
> delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
> chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
> leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
> recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
>
>
>
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>
> A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
> is istilled wine, that means they take the water out of the
> fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.
> Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>
> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>
> A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is
> one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to
> one, etc.
>
> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
> regular exercise program?
> A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
> Pain...Good!
>
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>
> A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in
> vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
> getting more vegetables be bad for you?
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
> around the middle?
>
> A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
> bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
> bigger stomach.
>
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>
> A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's
> the best feel-good food around! !
>
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>
> A: If swimming is good for your figure explain whales to
> me.
>
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>
> A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
>
>
>
> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
> have had about food and diets.
>
> And remember:
>
> 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
> intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
> preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -¬ Merlot in
> one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,
> totally worn out and screaming,'WOO HOO, What a Ride!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-31-2008, 01:54 PM
pepper60's Avatar
pepper60 pepper60 is offline
Big Buddy
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 58,337
pepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIPpepper60 is a MBB VIP
Default

very nice
__________________
Support Lighthouse Preservation
It's Part Of Our Heritage
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump