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  #1  
Old 02-26-2009, 08:22 PM
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Nan Nan is offline
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Default I learned it all from my mother!

1. *_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE_*. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just
finished
cleaning."

2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. *_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_*.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"

4. *_My mother taught me LOGIC_*.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. *_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're
not
going to the store with me.

6. *_My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident."

7. *_My mother taught me IRONY_*.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. *_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. *_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_*.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. *_My mother taught me about STAMINA _*.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. *_My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
it."

12. *_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. *_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."

14. *_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. *_My mother taught me about ENVY_*.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING_*.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. *_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to
get stuck that
way."

19. *_My mother taught me ESP_* .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
are cold?"

20. *_My mother taught me HUMOR_*.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."

21. *_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_*.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. *_My mother taught me GENETICS_. *
*
"You're just like your father."

23. _My mother taught me about my ROOTS_.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"

24. _My mother taught me WISDOM_
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:
*

25. *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE_.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just
like you."*
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  #2  
Old 02-27-2009, 03:36 AM
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gayle gayle is offline
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  #3  
Old 02-27-2009, 05:17 AM
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Mary C Mary C is offline
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Yeahmarker

ha ha ha!
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  #4  
Old 02-28-2009, 07:45 AM
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MagiePerdu MagiePerdu is offline
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Enduring lessons learned at mama's knee!
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  #5  
Old 02-28-2009, 12:12 PM
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beanie beanie is offline
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oh how true, how true!!!
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