I learned it all from my mother!
1. *_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE_*. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just
finished
cleaning."
2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. *_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_*.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"
4. *_My mother taught me LOGIC_*.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. *_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're
not
going to the store with me.
6. *_My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an
accident."
7. *_My mother taught me IRONY_*.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. *_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. *_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. *_My mother taught me about STAMINA _*.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. *_My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
it."
12. *_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. *_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."
14. *_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. *_My mother taught me about ENVY_*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING_*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. *_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to
get stuck that
way."
19. *_My mother taught me ESP_* .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
are cold?"
20. *_My mother taught me HUMOR_*.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."
21. *_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_*.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. *_My mother taught me GENETICS_. *
*
"You're just like your father."
23. _My mother taught me about my ROOTS_.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"
24. _My mother taught me WISDOM_
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
*
25. *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE_.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just
like you."*
__________________
Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how big the Lord is.
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