I can't believe it's been a whole week.

[Melissa]

In just under 12 hours it's been a whole week since Jake died.

I wanted to go to the grave yesterday but Chad wasn't up to it. We're going when they open in about an hour and a half.

It still doesn't seem real. I still wonder how long Jake will sleep when I go to sleep and I still think about washing bottles before bed. I still look in his bassinet to see if he's there.

It doesn't help that Chad's way of dealing with this is different than mine. He doesn't like his things being up and if he gets sad he doesn't want to go to the grave. I like all of his things there- it lets me be in denial. If all of his things are there, maybe he really is coming home, y'know? When I get sad I want to go to the grave and lay with my baby.

I do love all your guys' sweet comments so thank you for that. Double thank you for the people who've asked for my address to send a card. In the hospital, when we decided to take him off life support, they gave us this box that had a spot for some of his hair, a card from the nurses, a necklace/bracelet combo for me and the baby, and whatever else. That's where I put his hospital bracelets and his CD I stole that has his xrays from before we got life flighted (which the hospital we got sent to didn't even look at because they had an ultrasound machine and an xray machine set up in his room before we even arrived). Anyway, that box is where I've been putting all the cards and stuff too. It's nice to be able to take it out and have everything there.

Thank you guys for all the support. You've made the worst time of my life a little more tolerable.

[Kelly]

I'm so sorry Melissa. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. Just know that God is with him and you also. I hope things get easier for you and you can go on with your life as it was before. If there is any way I can help you or you need to talk about anything, please let me know. I am always here for you. I am praying for you.

[Christy]

Hi Melissa,
I know men deal differently than women do with grief. That is I believe one of the things that makes it so hard to get through.
I have my sons things in a cedar chest. I still have his favorite blanky that his granny made him and his favorite shirts and toys. I go to that chest when I need to and pull out his blanky, it still smells like him and its been 11 years, almost 12. Sept 12 will be 12 years. I miss him so much but it has gotten easier over the years. I know he is pain free in Heaven and I know I will join him with its my time and I will hold him and never let him go again.
Your still in my heart sweety and I am still praying for you.
God bless, Christy

[JMBred]

Melissa, words aren't enough, just know that he's in a safe place and one day your be able to hold him forever, but for now, do what ever makes you feel better. There is no right or wrong, everyone grieves in their own way. If there is anything we can do don't hesitate to ask. Be strong, we will always be here for you.

[pepper60]

May God Bless you and your family and hold you in his loving arms to
comfort you. If I can help you in any way, don't hestitate to ask.

[travlfreek]

Melissa I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would help to comfort you. Just know that everyone here is thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

[Missy]

Melissa, its okay to deal with this in your own way. Take all the time that you need and do whatever you think you need to, to keep him close to your heart. May God keep blessing you and your family. We are all here for if you need anything! hugs and kisses