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Old 05-31-2010, 09:17 AM
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MagiePerdu MagiePerdu is offline
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Default Need Some Buddy Advice

My sister just called. My BIL, who has been in hospice care for about 6 months, passed away this morning. He had lung cancer which apparently arose from something common to Phoenix-dwellers, "Valley Fever." At any rate, they were at their cabin in Payson when it happened. Sis says she is going to have him cremated.

I asked her when she wanted us to be there and she said she didn't. That there was nothing to do. I am unfamiliar with the rituals involved in cremation, so I dunno what there is to do. She said at first he told her he wanted to be buried in "Mother Oak," a tree in the back yard of their cabin under which he enjoyed sitting, but he later decided he was too claustrophobic to be "holed up" in a tree. She said she had thought about turning him into a "diamond," but he'd have too many brown spots (if ya know what I mean). . .she's trying to maintain her strength and sense of humor.

I am at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I am at a critical point in the accounting in my new job (a third of the way through paying for lease vehicles for April. . .they may jerk the cars if I don't finish the job), I don't know whether to just show up. . .(dunno how to get to Payson from Phoenix - it's at least a 2 hr drive north of Phoenix, no commercial flights into there). . .I dunno whether to just send flowers (where would they go - the cabin, the city, the Oak). . .dunno if there will be a viewing or a wake or what!!

Does anyone have experience with cremations or the routines associated therewith? Suggestions appreciated. THank you.
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