Online Clearance Shopping, Free Shipping, Online Sales and Coupons at MyBargainBuddy.com

Go Back   MyBargainBuddy Forums > Jokes
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-20-2011, 06:11 AM
curious74432 curious74432 is offline
Big Buddy
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Homosassa, Florida
Posts: 696
curious74432 is on a distinguished road
Default Words of wisdom

Words of Wisdom





Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

<><>
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
<><>
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
- Mark Twain
<><>
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns
<><>
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
<><>
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
<><>
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
<><>
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
<><>
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
<><>
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
<><>
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
<><>
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
<><>

Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
<><>
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
- Joe Namath
<><>
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
<><>
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
- W. C. Fields
<><>
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
<><>
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
<><>
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..
- Phyllis Diller
<><>
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
<><>

And the cardiologist' s diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-20-2011, 10:49 PM
Nan's Avatar
Nan Nan is offline
Mentor
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cajun country
Posts: 13,232
Nan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributerNan is a wonderful contributer
Default

__________________
Donít tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how big the Lord is.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-21-2011, 06:10 AM
gayle's Avatar
gayle gayle is offline
Big Buddy
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wilmington, CA
Posts: 43,069
gayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIPgayle is a MBB VIP
Default

good way to start my day; with a laugh
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump