3 jokes--big eyes recommended

[curious74432]

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.

I started to cry when I thought of you.

Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap...

I'll see you on the bus!

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when he saw him.
He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest said,"Murphy,I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. I misplaced me hat & I really, really love that hat.
I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine & he came to church every Sunday.
I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass & figured he would leave it in the back of church.
So, I was going to leave after Communion & steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. "

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments,
I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'
ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"


Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about
"Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."

After being married for 30 years....a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.... I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so lovely.....
What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His eye is still swollen....but it will get better..............
Anybody had any eye problems recently?

[Nan]