Smile of the day
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, “When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first guy says, “I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”
The second guy says, “I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy replies, “I’d like to hear them say……LOOK, HE’S MOVING!
Public cell phone solution--
After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Chicago for Detroit.
As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train - yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life - yes, I'm sure, cross my heart" etc., etc.
Fifteen minutes later he was still talking loudly , when the young woman sitting next to him, who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe, yelled at the top of her voice:
"Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!"
My guess would be that Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any more...
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful
woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an
ordinary man,' he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die,
and I'll inherit $20 million.'
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later,
she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men...
Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect.
P N E S I
People who wrote SPINE became doctors...
The rest are all my friends...