My son is in the PICU.
I'm in Spokane in the PICU.
Jacob has hypoplastic left lung syndrome. The left side of his heart doesn't exist, therefore is not pumping blood to his body. The results of having hypoplastic left lung syndrome were supposed to happen within 24 hours, so it's purely a miracle that he is still alive.
He's probably going to die.
Basically he doesn't have half of his heart and his body didn't get blood for about 24 hours before I brought him to the hospital in Hermiston.
We got flown to Spokane on Monday and he's hooked up to tons of machines. IVs coming out of every possible place, a catheder. Lauren's mom shaved his head in ER in Hermiston so he's got a terrible haircut on top if it.
If we choose to let him live (he's on life support right now) and if he lives (organ failure) and if he makes it through three different heart surgeries, he'll more than likely be mentally retarded.
The chance of surviving through all three heart surgeries is about 50 percent if all your organs are working properly, which his aren't.
Basically it boils down to the fact that my son is going to die and it's a matter of when not if.
Chad's here with me.
My mom, Bil, Ramon, Quinton, Fia, Chad, Kyle and Chad's mom have all been here. Fia, Chad, Kyle and Chad's mom are still here. Fia and Chad are leaving sometime tonight and I don't know when Kyle and Chad's mom are leaving.
Leaving all other emotions out of this I miss the hell out of Quinton. I'm so torn between wanting to be with Quinton and wanting to be with Jake. Obviously I'm choosing Jake right now because I don't know how long he'll live. He could go into cardiac arrest at any moment and die before I see him again. My wishes were for them to bring him back, but he'd probably just die again.
I don't know what we're going to do. If the outlook is too grim and he'll definatly not make it through any surgeries, then the choice is there for us to take him off of life support and hold him until he dies.
Probably in a few days I'll come in here and cry and spill it all, but for right now I'm all cried out. I've been crying alot since Monday when this all started.
Right now I'm going to go see my son and then figure out what Chad's doing.