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  #1  
Old 12-03-2007, 11:41 PM
steven steven is offline
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Default Holiday Eating Habits?

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any
other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000
calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
"eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me.
Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello,???

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each.
Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have been more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips:
Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"

While healthy habits are good, laughter remains the best medicine!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
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  #2  
Old 12-04-2007, 03:47 AM
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pepper60 pepper60 is offline
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Thank you, Steven. WELCOME TO MBB.
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  #3  
Old 12-04-2007, 08:18 PM
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Krissy Krissy is offline
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This is great!
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Old 12-04-2007, 08:20 PM
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Christine Christine is offline
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How Funny............welcome To Mbb
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Old 12-04-2007, 08:22 PM
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Everybody just pour the gravy in a cocktail glass and drink up!


Sounds like your place is THE place to be Steven...Welcome!
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Old 12-10-2007, 05:51 AM
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lol....those were good. thanks steven
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