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  #1  
Old 03-22-2006, 11:02 AM
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Politically correct


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore..


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. Sh e does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a " MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE! EMPATHY ."

9. He! is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."
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  #2  
Old 03-22-2006, 11:06 AM
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Some of those sound like people i know..
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Old 03-22-2006, 11:10 AM
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I am proud to be called a Hillbilly!!!
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Old 03-22-2006, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Modemouth
I am proud to be called a Hillbilly!!!
I'm with ya mary But, a great laugh is always welcome!!
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Old 03-22-2006, 01:33 PM
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Cute!
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Old 03-22-2006, 03:11 PM
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Pretty damn funny! My husband said he is sharing a few of these at work tomorrow!
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Old 03-22-2006, 03:41 PM
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Hee, hee, hee - very funny - I'll have to e-mail some of these

Congrats on the 200 posts Nan

Lori Ann
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Old 03-22-2006, 08:08 PM
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these are really good. Very cute. thanks
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Old 03-22-2006, 10:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Ann
Hee, hee, hee - very funny - I'll have to e-mail some of these

Congrats on the 200 posts Nan

Lori Ann

Whoo Hoo! Thanks! I didn't realizeit... :
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Old 03-23-2006, 05:56 AM
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Very good. I just sent to a few friends.

Thanks

Me
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