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Old 06-10-2008, 11:29 AM
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MagiePerdu MagiePerdu is offline
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Default Dealing with Negativity

You didn't see it coming. You didn't even feel it land — until a split second later when you suddenly realize you've had the wind knocked out of you. What just hit you? Someone's nasty comment, and it's cut you to the core.

Sometimes a faultfinder disguises her disapproval as a quasi-compliment: "I would have never had the courage to talk to my boss the way you did." Other times, a jab takes the form of a cautionary tale: "You're going on a cruise? I still get nightmares about the time I spent two weeks in the lavatory aboard one of those ships." And occasionally it's just served up the old-fashioned way — cold: "Those vegetarian burritos you made? Gross."

Granted, not every critic is intentionally trying to smash your various hopes, dreams, and good intentions into a bloody pulp. Perhaps she is genuinely trying to be honest and helpful, or is completely clueless — or maybe this is just her weird, corrosive way of making conversation. Whatever her motive, you're left second-guessing your decisions (Was I being out of line with my boss the other day? Maybe taking a cruise isn't such a fabulous idea after all...), and editing — if not completely overhauling — your future behavior suddenly seems to be in order.

But here's the thing: "By giving in to the critical opinions of others, you end up relinquishing your own, and that dilutes your purpose in life," says Judith Orloff, M.D., author of Positive Energy. "In other words, the more authority you relinquish, the more dependent you become upon others to determine what's right for you — and the less confident you feel in your decisions." (The word "pushover" comes to mind.) What's more, because daring to try new things, follow your dreams, and go with your gut can be hard, a critic's negativity can stop even the strongest, most determined of us in our tracks. This is why you need to listen closely to your own inner voice, the one that cheers you on and helps you just go for it, no matter what the buzz killers say. After all, who can know what's right for you except you? So the next time one of these critical types crosses your path, here's how not to let her snipes throw you off course.


Read more here: http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyand...0919&GT1=32001
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:13 AM
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Default Survive an Abusive Boss

Because being at work shouldn't require a restraining order


This is a great article (from Women's Health Mag). . .snippit below, the rest of the article is here: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/...ive.Boss.End.1

Quote:
No one deserves to go to work each day and deal with their version of Thomas Harvey. He was the notorious high-level male manager at the National Education Association’s (NEA) Alaska affiliate who subjected three female employees to daily verbal abuse, profanity, and physical intimidation. He’d been known to shake his fists at women, grab their shoulders, and come within striking distance. What’s worse? His company stood behind him, promoting him to executive director despite the women’s complaints. But in 2001, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) filed a lawsuit against NEA-Alaska, and the $750,000 settlement awarded sent a powerful message: Workplace abuse targeted at women is unlawful and will not be tolerated.

According to a recent study by the Employment Law Alliance, 44 percent of U.S. employees say they’ve worked for an abusive boss. While dirty looks and snide comments are fast becoming the office norm, one day your superior may cross the legal line—and you can, and should, take action. “Whenever your supervisor’s treatment has a negative impact on your ability to perform your job, you have an obligation to yourself and your employer to turn that situation around,” says Kirstin Muller, an employment attorney in Santa Monica, Calif. “Our most common complaint is yelling,” Muller explains. “Throwing things is another big issue.” Below, some ways to handle an unhealthy relationship with your blowhard boss.
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:27 AM
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Default

Thank you Patti. I am going to copy the first one and put it on the wall. Others, mainly my mother have knocked my dreams and ambition right out of me.
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Old 11-13-2008, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by HIPeGURL View Post
Thank you Patti. I am going to copy the first one and put it on the wall. Others, mainly my mother have knocked my dreams and ambition right out of me.
Unfortunately, Val, we do allow the people we love to take the wind outta our sails on occasion. I think it's because we love them that we take what they say so very much to heart. Sometimes, ya gotta grin and cover your ears and loudly sing out, LA-LA-LA, I CANNOT HEAR YOU! Give it a shot, sweetie-pie. . .people will grin, but then at least you've made someone smile!
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by HIPeGURL View Post
Thank you Patti. I am going to copy the first one and put it on the wall. Others, mainly my mother have knocked my dreams and ambition right out of me.

You should try to find it val...........you'll never know what you can achieve unless you believe in yourself first................to heck with the others and what they say.....even if it is your mom
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