The ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of languagedevelopment. Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardesslooks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed perpassenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,"Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in thecraft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have yourkayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron."The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,"Yes,I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in thelobby discussing their recent tournament victories After about an hour, themanager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "Butwhy?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said,"I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to afamily in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a familyin Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a pictureof himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells herhusband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up asmall florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from themen of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. Heasked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back andbegged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hiredHugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed theirstore, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified,they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent floristfriars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, whichproduced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he suffered from badbreath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it's good) a supercalloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends,with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Life is just a chance to grow a soul.