A New Illness
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him
that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
'So, what's the matter?' he asks.
'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.
'And what the hell is anal glaucoma?'
'I just can't see my ass coming into work today.'
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." Danny Kaye