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Old 01-09-2009, 02:00 PM
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MagiePerdu MagiePerdu is offline
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Default Red Skelton's Recipe For The Perfect Marriage

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enj oy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great
entertainer.


1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and passionate companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Her's is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywh ere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carbor a tor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was "Always."

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault, though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"





Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........those were the good old days,
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun,
and he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless!"
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Old 01-11-2009, 06:03 PM
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I absolutely adore Red Skelton! His show was my very favorite!
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:29 AM
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those are too funny!!
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