Single or coupled, if you didn't make a reservation in January, your options for going out to dinner are limited to the local fast food drive-through.
The hour of our lives we waste every year in the greeting card aisle, looking for the perfect one.
The overnight tripling of the price of roses, forcing your boyfriend to choose between getting you a bouquet of a dozen or paying his cable bill that month.
The 24/7 romantic comedy marathon on TV during the month of February either makes you feel like a loser for being single or makes you resent your boyfriend for not being John Cusack.
If you've had anything resembling a date in the past two months, it always prematurely launches the "where is this going?" conversation.
If you're single and lucky enough to have three close, single girlfriends, you can't go out for drinks with them without being a cliche.
We don't need another stuffed teddy bear holding a heart or a cheap box of "guess the mystery filling" chocolates, thanks.
They don't make Valentine's Day cards for friends-with-benefits or "I think I like you but it's too soon to tell."
We just started paying off our credit card bills from holiday shopping--our bank statements can't handle another gift.
Those gross taste-like-sidewalk-chalk conversation hearts.