Online Clearance Shopping, Free Shipping, Online Sales and Coupons at

Go Back   MyBargainBuddy Forums > Jokes
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-15-2010, 06:35 AM
curious74432 curious74432 is offline
Big Buddy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Homosassa, Florida
Posts: 700
curious74432 is on a distinguished road
Default You can't fix stupid--

>> You can't make this stuff up! Make sure you read all the way to the
>> end.
>> NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends
>> and family
>> when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
>> on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
>> Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first
>> question
>> and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute
>> worst use
>> of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
>> Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100
>> question.
>> The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
>> A) A Peanut
>> B) An Elephant
>> C) The Moon
>> D) Hey, who you calling large?
>> Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she
>> did
>> not
>> readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
>> as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
>> 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
>> but I have no idea how large they would be.'
>> Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the
>> 50/50.
>> Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
>> bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
>> easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
>> 'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans...
>> 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
>> Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
>> Betsy, who is an office assistant.
>> 'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
>> wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
>> 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the
>> largest?
>> B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
>> Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
>> Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten
>> seconds.
>> 'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't
>> be
>> it.'
>> To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her
>> friend's
>> advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that
>> bright.
>> So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
>> Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor
>> of
>> answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
>> Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
>> 'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
>> too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go
>> with
>> your gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant.
>> Final answer.'
>> Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with
>> bated
>> breath -
>> and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C,
>> 'The
>> Moon..'
>> Caution...they walk among us!
>> ---------------------
>> This one is equally unbelievable.. (No comments needed!)
>> They Walk Among Us!
>> ----------------------------
>> Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
>> To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
>> sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
>> For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
>> He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
>> So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
>> The next day someone stole it!
>> They walk amongst us!
>> -------------------------------------
>> I stopped at Mc Donald's and ordered some fries.
>> The girl behind the counter said "would you like some fries with that?"
>> --------------------------
>> *One day I was walking down the beach with
>> some friends when someone shouted.....
>> 'Look at that dead bird!'
>> Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
>> They walk among us!
>> ----------------------------------------------------------
>> While looking at a house, my brother asked the
>> estate agent which direction was north because
>> he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
>> She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
>> My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
>> and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
>> 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
>> They Walk Among Us!
>> --------------------------------------------
>> My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
>> when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
>> sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
>> She drove down in a convertible, but said
>> she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
>> because the car was moving'.
>> They Walk Among Us!
>> ------------------------------------
>> My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
>> which is designed to cut through a seat belt
>> if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
>> They Walk Among Us!
>> -------------------------------------------------
>> I was going out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
>> attached to an earring by a chain.
>> My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip
>> out every time she turns her head!"
>> I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
>> remain the same distance apart no
>> matter which way the head is turned...
>> They Walk Among Us !
>> -------------------------------
>> I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the
>> lost luggage office and reported the loss.
>> The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
>> because she was a trained professional and
>> said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
>> 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
>> (I work with professionals like this.)
>> They Walk Among Us!
>> ------------------------------------------------
>> While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
>> ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked
>> him if he would like it cut
>> into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
>> then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
>> enough to eat 6 pieces.
>> They Walk Among Us!
>> And last, but not least:
>> Dumb as a box of Rocks
>> A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where
>> Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to
>> schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he
>> was
>> most at ease.
>> 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental
>> deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
>> 'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone
>> should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you
>> on
>> the track..'
>> 'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
>> Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world
>> and
>> died during one of them. Which one?''
>> Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You
>> wouldn't
>> happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know
>> much
>> about history.'
>> Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they vote and their vote
>> equals
>> ours and they also reproduce!
>> Traffic Camera
>> A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured
>> that
>> his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew
>> that
>> he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and
>> passed
>> the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
>> Now
>> he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as
>> he
>> passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a
>> fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now
>> laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a
>> snail's
>> pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving
>> without
>> a seat belt..
>> You can't fix stupid.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump