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Old 10-19-2010, 05:46 AM
curious74432 curious74432 is offline
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Default Bar Room Signs and other stuff

Great bar room signs & Other things


Beauty is only a light switch away.. .. ...
Chesterfield Motel
Durham, NC

If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let's all get wasted together
And have the time of our lives
ANNA MARIA'S PIZZA, DURHAM, NC

Fighting for peace is like
Screwing for virginity.
BLUE LIGHT DRIVE IN
Durham, NC

No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her
Carolina Inn, Chapel Hill

At the feast of ego
Everyone leaves hungry .
Bullock's BBQ

It's hard to make a comeback
When you haven't been anywhere.
Neal's Drive In
Durham, NC

Make love, not war.
Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom The Forks, Durham, NC

If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.
Court House, Durham, NC

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
RALEIGH N.C

Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Maola's Bar and Grill, Durham, NC

You're too good for him..
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Pizza Parlor, Durham, NC

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Top Hat Bar & Grill, Durham, NC


~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~


A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
You're going to have trouble with it
Women's restroom
Moose Lodge, Durham, NC


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

______________________________
SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

_____________________________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man...
_____________________________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

______________________________


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die...

______________________________


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

_____________________________


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE
FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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